smart couples...

• take time to actively listen, and
• speak assertively for the things they want, and
• are willing to learn knew things about themselves, and
• encourage learning new things about their partner, and
• attempt to act responsibly, and
• remain open to discussion, and
• have independence from their partner, and
• foster mindfulness of the effect they have on their life, and the effect they have on their partner's life, and
• are aware that emotions affect reactions, and
  try to be enthusiastic about tackling the hard issues, and
• show a positive and forward thinking attitude, and
• feel empathy and understanding, and
  moderate the desire for instantly having answers, and
• are self-confident, secure and OK when alone, and
• can easily admit their mistakes and forgive, and
• act as they feel, believe and think (are congruent), and
• think, consider, plan, expect and act reasonably...

and smart couples, knowing all this, are usually rewarded with loving, caring, forgiving and supportive relationships.

Sounds like hard work!

And, yes, it is sometimes difficult to juggle all these requirements for having a good relationship with being a mother, father, housewife, breadwinner, colleague, friend, daughter, son, aunt, uncle, neighbour, relative... getting the balance right is hard work.

However... time, practice and the desire to be better with ourselves and our partner are extremely rewarding.

You may have realised by now that all the above qualities I've identified as being critical to have a great relationship are actually significant requirements for anyone to have a strong and active and good self-esteem. Of all things we need to have in the world, in or out of a relationship, it is the feeling that we are OK in the world, just as we are.

Conscious decision making.

there is no better description of what constitutes the essence of how smart couples keep their relationship real, exciting, rewarding and long lasting.

What makes relationships strong...
smartcouples are mindful of their effect on themselves and on others. How much do you believe your beliefs impact on your ability to deal with your own issues and deal with difficult situations you face with others.

know thyself....

Are you self-aware? Do you follow Socrates' advice, "Know thyself."? These are fundamental qualities to possess because they underpin your ability to deal with the trials and tribulations of your relationship.